Is your self talk hurting or helping you?

It never seems to amaze me how people can talk themselves into a problem, or exacerbate the one they have just by the way they talk to them-self. Most sane people would never just sit around all day and listen to someone berate, criticize, condemn, and belittle them but they easily do it to themselves. Some of the things one might say to them self are:

• I don't know how I'm going to pass this class.
• I'm just not good at writing.
• Everything is just so hard on me.
• I can not do this.
• I'm going to fail. 
• I just can't remember anything. 
• I'm so stupid. 
• I think I got into more than I can handle.

“Your Self-Talk is the new blueprint of you, that you are giving to yourself.” -- Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., Author, and Self Talk Expert

These type of thoughts drain you of physical energy and mental power. But that's not the worst thing negative self talk does. When we make these self defeating comments about our self, it degrades our self image and self-esteem but even worst it signals your brain to stop trying to help you.  All this does is depress or repress your power to succeed.

Empowering language that give you strength and mental power sounds more like this: 

• I can finish this class problem with a little effort. 
• Actually I'm going to finish this thing no matter what. 
• I guess I need to study a little more. 
• I can do this with a little effort.
• Now let me think were did I put those keys. 

To begin to change yourself talk start with the answer you give to the single most asked question on the planet; How are you doing? Answer it as you want it to be and over time that's exactly how it will become. The best answer you can give is to say I'm doing:

• Fantastic
• Outstanding
• Wonderful 
• Great
• Superb
• or event your own self empowering answer. 

Try it and watch how your day get better.


If you hear a voice within you saying, ''You are not a painter,'' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. 
Vincent Van Gogh 
1853-1890 
Dutch Painter

Stress Management Techniques

People often, ask me why am I always so positive, upbeat and enthusiastic. People that actually know me never just ask how am I doing; they always ask “How fantastic are you today Clint.” And then there are some who say you can’t possibly be that positive and happy all the time. My response is simply. “Yes I can watch me.” There is one story I always tell and several techniques I use that can help you never have another bad day in your life.  

First, the story I always tell for why I’m so positive and happy all the time starts with something I learned many years ago from an old Japanese WWII soldier called “The Secret to everlasting happiness.” This Japanese soldier had been stationed on the island of Okinawa Japan during the U.S. invasion but was not captured nor rescued or told when the war ended. As far as he was concerned the war was still going on. He would sneak down into the city of Naha and steal food and cloths and go back to his hideout.

More than 40 years later, he was still hiding in the mountains. And in 1985 when I was stationed their while in the Marines I ran into him by accident during a training exercise when he started shooting at my unit. We only had blanks, so when we realized someone had real bullets we left, called the MP’s and they finally captured him. During the interrogation everyone wondered why he was so happy, positive enthusiastic and of course hungry. When he was asked why he was so happy, after being left and forgotten up in these mountains for more than 40 years he smiled and said “I happy because I know secret to ever lasting happiness”.  

Now being a Marine and having served around Sailor for many years my first thought was “B_ _ _ S_ _ _.” I would have been mad as hell if the Marines had left and forgot about me for only 40 minutes. We then asked him what was this secret? He again smiled and said, “I can only share secret if you first take a solemn vow to apply and use the secret for the rest of your life.”  At this point I’m standing in the back thinking “Give me a break”. So you can tell I had a bad attitude before learning the secret. We all took this vow and he told us the secret. And ever since then I have used this secret every day and now I’m positive and happy all the time. 

Keep reading if you want the secret. 

Along with the secret I use these stress management techniques on a regular basis. In fact some time two or three times a day. Some of these can be used for immediate stress management and some are for long term management of stress.  

The first technique I used every morning right after applying the secret to everlasting happiness is Mediation. Meditation is used to train the mind to be relaxed and free of all the chatter that goes on throughout the day. But this morning mediation is not just any kind of meditation I do what is called “Transcendental mediation. To learn more about Transcendental Mediation watch this YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfIqvZLIZz8

The second technique I used though out the day anytime I feel the need to relax is call diaphragmatic breathing. This technique can be used to almost immediately reduce the stress of the moment. It is base on the scientific research conducted by Herbert Benson, MD and described in his national best seller “The Relaxation Response” To learn more about this technique watch the video below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSgZqxAaYQU

Oh before I forget send me an email saying you vow to apply and use the “Secret to Everlasting Happiness” every day for the rest of your life and I’ll send you the secret he gave us.

Stress Management Made Easy

Is Stress Making You Fat, Dumb, and Sick?

All over the planet people are suffering from the effects of stress.  And there is a very good chance you are also. In fact if you are alive right now living in the 21^st century; you have encountered at least one stressful moment in the last 24 hours.  You can’t avoid it and you can’t eliminate 100 percent of it if you intend to live in the 21^st century. Stress comes in the form of job stress, family stress, technology stress, information overload stress, financial stress, news stress and many other forms.  Failure to get your stress under control will have three detrimental effects on your health; chronic stress will make you fat, dumb and sick. This article will explain how this happens and what you can do to avoid this situation. 

What is stress? Stress is a physiological response your body goes through when you perceive a threat to your mental, physical, or spiritual well being. Notice I said perceived threat; that means it can be a real threat or an imagined threat. And in most cases the things that produce the most daily stress are not real, or they are incorrectly perceived as a threat and the stress response gets activated. Here is an example: About 20 years ago I was driving from the west coast to the east coast, and while in Dallas pulled off the high way to get something to eat and gas. While waiting at a red light I put in a cassette tape, that’s what we listened to before CD’s. Just as the light changed and I started to move I heard the sound of a car racing its engine and then slamming on their brakes. The sound was so load I thought someone was running into me, so I slammed on my brakes, looked around and though the rare view mirror and there was nobody around, it was 2:00AM in the morning.  At that very instant I realized it was the cassette tape I just put in. If you are old enough you might remember the R&B group The Gap Band and their song “Don’t Burn Rubber on Me”. Here is a YouTube link to it. Listen to it and you will see what scared the heck out of me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb1cpSJtIqM

Now, the point is the thing that stressed me out for that brief moment was all in my imagination. Don’t laugh, most of the things that stress you out are developed in your imagination or you create them and blown them out of proportion. Here’s a few other examples: 

• Each time you have a negative thought about sitting in traffic that creates stress.
• When you watch the news and get upset about the latest homicide or robbery that creates stress. 
• When you read your college class project for the week and think oh-no this is too much, that creates stress. 
• When you yell at your kids for not picking up their cloths that creates stress.

In fact, every time you make an issue about something that did not go your way it creates stress. Notice that all these events only create stress because of the way you interpret them. You could have chosen to react in the complete opposite of the negative reaction.  

We encounter events all week long that send us into this same negative reaction mode and the stress just keeps building and building. At the physiological level what is happening is extremely harmful to your health. When we react in a stressful manner we activate the Stress Response (SR); this is the fight or flight response, we will call it SR.  You activate your SR when you see or hear something that you interpret as harmful, negative or you just don’t like it, and you make an issue about it. The SR was a great idea when we lived in the jungle and needed to run from hungry tigers or other people that wanted to kill us. But evolution has not modified this system, so it kicks into play all day long when you have these negative responses.

How Stress makes you sick, fat and dumb.

When this SR is activate on a regular basis three things happen that you will not like. 

First, the hormone cortisol is released into your blood stream and research has shown that excess cortisol can direct your body to release excess amounts of cholesterol. And excess cholesterol is associated with plaque buildup that leads to hypertension and coronary heart disease. Excess cortisol is also associated with the weakening of your immune system. When your immune system is weakened you become susceptible to sickness and all kinds of diseases. 

Second, cortisol is also associated with weight gain. There is a direct link between stress and food. When we are under stress, food becomes a mechanism to control the stress. When we place food into our stomach a message is sent to our brain that produces a calming effect and decreases the intensity of the stress felt throughout the body. Eating to calm our stress is such a natural process; many people never even realize that’s why they are eating. And if that’s not enough, Dr. Oz says cortisol also causes a build up of fat around the abdomen and thighs. So under stress you eat more and it sticks to your belly and thighs. 

Finally chronic stress overloads our brain with hormones that were intended for short term emergencies. These hormones damage and kill brain cells in the part of your brain used for memory and learning. So, now you can’t remember or learn. If it wasn’t enough just being fat, you have to get sick and dumb all from stress. So what can you do? 

Symptoms of Stress 

According to the Mayo Clinic we experience stress in three ways, body symptoms, thoughts, and behavior. However, the three steps we are going to talk about are designed to catch the stress before it develops into these symptoms. These steps are not a replacement for professional health care. If you are suffering from the below listed symptoms you may need to consult your health care provider. 

Body Symptoms: • Headache • Back pain • Chest pain • Heart disease • Heart palpitations • High blood pressure • Decreased immunity • Stomach upset • Sleep problems

Thoughts • Anxiety • Restlessness • Worrying • Irritability • Depression • Sadness • Anger • Feeling insecure • Lack of focus • Burnout • Forgetfulness

Behavior • Overeating • Under eating • Angry outbursts • Drug abuse  • Alcohol abuse • Increased smoking • Social withdrawal • Crying spells • Relationship conflicts

Immediate Steps for Managing Stress  

Step one is to recognize when you are becoming stress. You can not minimize your stress until you know when it is affecting you. Lets use an example of your company is downsizing and your boss just called you into his office. You immediately get upset and say “OH Shoot I can’t believe they are firing me”.  This thought activates the stress response. You know it because you just started breathing hard, sweating, thinking negative thoughts, and you know from reading the first part of this article that those negative thoughts are activating the SR. Ok good you understand step one. 

Step two is to immediately stop the negative thought.  For most of us these thoughts are automatic and they occur without us ever thinking about them, we just react. What you are learning here is to respond with thinking rather than reacting with behavior. To stop the negative thought pattern you are going to attack it with a giant warrior called NATAK, Negative Automatic Thought Armed Killer. NATAK is a 9 foot tall steel and concrete warrior carrying a giant ray gun, 6 foot long sword and a shield; and he kills negative thoughts before they can fully activate your SR. Every time you have a negative stress activating thought you will say “Get-em NATAK” or “Sick-em NATAK”.  You can do it out load or to yourself. I do it out load and smile at how people react. They look around and say excuse me or are you talking to me. I just smile and say “just killing some negative thoughts.” This action has the immediate effect of stopping the negative thought before it get to the part of the brain that activates the SR. With practice you can learn to do it instantly every time a stress activating negative thought comes into your mind. 

Step three after you have killed the negative thought you want to replace it with a positive thought. In other words instead of reacting you now can respond. In our example your boss calls and says can you come into my office, you sense the negative thought and say “Get-em NATAK”, and you immediately feel a sense of calm.  Next you immediately replace the negative thought with, “I don’t like this Job any way.” In psychology they call that rationalizing, but if he’s going to fire you, so what. Actually a better replacement would be a positive thought like “Humm could I be getting a promotion.” Now you may be thinking this is ridicules, but remember the idea is to turn off the stress response so you can keep from becoming fat, dumb and sick.  Plus if you are getting fired what good does it do to also get stressed. And since most of the things that stress us are imagined what if you got all stress and your boss wasn’t firing you; you just contributed to being fat, dumb and sick for no reason. 

So the first lesson in managing stress is to stop the negative thoughts that create stress all day long and replace them with positive thoughts. This is can easily be done by using the NATAK warrior and with a little practice you will become a master of your thought and close your mind off to the automatic negative thoughts to lead to a life of being fat, dumb and sick. 

Bonus

Since you read this fare you get a bonus step. We already talk about the SR and what activates; but what if there was a reverse response to the SR. What if there was a way to reverse the SR. What if there was a way to activate an immediate relaxation response. 

Well there is, and it is called the Relaxation Response.  Discovered by Dr. Herbert Benson and written about in his best seller The Relaxation Response in 1975. Dr Benson discovered that the SR was associated with breathing and it could be stopped and reversed and a relaxation response activated by learning how to breathing properly. Today this is called diaphragmatic breathing and is a very simple process. When under stress start by taking a moment to relax, then focus on taking three to five deep breaths and pay close attention to the air coming into your nose or mouth, going down your lungs and feel your stomach rise. As you exhale feel your stomach descend as you feel the air leave out though your longs and nose or mouth. Don’t hold your breath and keep your focus on the four steps. Do this 

The four steps are:

1. As you take the air into your nose or mouth feel it and sense it coming in. 
2. Take a slight pause when your lungs are full and feel your stomach rise. 
3. Exhale and feel the air slowly leave your lungs and your stomach descend. 
4. Pause when your lungs are empty for a second and take another slow deep breath. 

Diaphragmatic breathing redirects your focus and attention off of what initiated the stress and turns off the ST.  

Reference:

Benson, H. (2000). The Relaxation Response. New York, NY:  Harpertorch

Mayo Clinic Staff (2009). Stress symptoms: Effects on your body, feelings and behavior. Retrieved June 23, 2010 from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-symptoms/sr00008_d 

Seaward, B. L. (2009). Stress Management: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being. Sudbury, Ma: Jones and Bartlett Publishers